Dear Reader,
Ruined orgasms are something many couples are curious about, but something that most do NOT do correctly.
And done correctly, there are few, if any more POTENT tools in a dominant lady’s toolkit to completely control, humiliate and keep a subservient male quite literally at her FEET — where he deserves to be, of course!
While I could get into the specifics of ruined orgasms right now, the FIRST thing to bear in mind is this (and it’s something I’ve often said both on my blog and in my books)
Control a man’s orgasm, and you control HIM.
And it’s true, my friend.
Ever notice what happens to a man’s LUST after he comes … a regular orgasm that is?
A REFRACTORY PERIOD … from a physical standpoint, and a mental, you ask?
Well, the same guy that was rushing after the woman to “get her in bed” (or whatever the BDSM equivalent is) suddenly seems to lose all interest in her. The SAME guy that would have “moved mountains” to get her (or to finish other tasks) suddenly does nothing but lay in bed … until he can “get it up again” — — in stark contrast to his woman, who usually wants MORE.
And this isn’t necessarily a fault on the guy’s part, my friend. Men are wired to build up towards ONE explosive orgasm (unless we are talking “P spot orgasms which I’ll get into into a later article) … and then a lengthy comedown, while women are wired to have mutiple orgasms that all feel just as good, and STILL want more.
Napoleon Hill wrote in Think and Grow Rich that a man that has learned how to transmute his sexual energy attains what we commonly called “genius” status, and he’s right in many ways. Male sexual energy can truly be used to accomplish miracles in all areas of life.
Look at boxers, wrestlers and other athletes that “refrain” from having sex before their bouts, for instance. There is a good reason behind this!
Male sexual energy when HARNESSED right and CHANNELED correctly can literally move mountains, and for the purpose of this article, we’ll talk about harnessing a man’s orgasms — and DENYING him orgasms to keep him lusting for — and begging for more, his submissiveness not reducing, but INCREASING by leaps and bounds as he stays horny and frustrated, but encounters physical release anyway.
And that, my friend is what a true ruined orgasm is all about!
Hi, my name is Mike Watson, writer and femdom enthusiast (since an early age), and this article expands upon one of the most DELIGHTFUL pursuits any truly submissive male can undertake upon (under the loving guidance of his Domina) — — that being the ruined orgasm.
I write femdom oriented novels, as well as “informational” (again, femdom oriented) manuals which I sell through my website at www.spicyanderoticfetish.com. I also have a completely FREE “femdom tips” newsletter which I highly recommend you sign up for if you’re INTO female domination in any of it’s shapes, forms and guises!
A quick read on my website (the “who am I”) part will no doubt explain why I’m qualified to bring you what I am right now. Let’s just NOTHING, I repeat, nothing beats REAL life experience, and I’ve been there and done that — — and then done some — — in locations and REAL life settings one (including myself) would never ever imagine in their wildest dreams.
Ok, back to the ruined orgasm itself.
A ruined orgasm is one in which the male is “edged” using various techniques (verbal and non verbal, as well as a combo of both), and all “stimulation” is stopped just before the “point of no-return” (I should say all physical stimulation — verbal can and should continue!).
It’s a known fact that the friction between the administering hand, or vagina, or mouth and the sensitive areas of a male’s penis are what give him the greatest pleasure.
The “back and forth” motion and that sweet spot on the underside of his head are what really get him off …
As he builds towards an orgasm, the friction increases. The “force” with which he thrusts increases … until the eventual crescendo, which occurs in spurts. Ejaculate “spurts” out of the male’s penis and the constant spasms are what give him that indescribable pleasure.
Take that friction away, and you’ve got the bulk of what a ruined orgasm requires!
In other words, a ruined orgasm occurs when he’s kept horny and hard; with the minimum of friction, if any, applied to “keep him on the edge”.
That pressure when released COMPLETELY at, or just before the point of no-return will result in an orgasm, but WITHOUT any of the associated pleasure for the male, which can be a huge, huge turn for both the female Domina and the male sub!
His cum will “dribble” out if done right … but with NONE or very minor “spurts” that give him the actual pleasure.
And here’s the kicker to all this.
Men are well known for their “wham bam thank you Ma’am tendencies”. The vast majority of men out there can’t last long enough to satisfy a woman sexually (sorry, guys, but it’s true — women need FAR more “humpty time” than the average male can give her) — — and once they cum, it’s an uphill battle to get hard again for most men.
Why?
Because a true orgasm precedes a period of “let down”, or emotional relaxation where the male is relaxed, but doesn’t entertain any sort of sexual thoughts whatsoever — — simply because his body doesn’t product the required chemicals etc.
Other hand, give him an orgasm without the pleasure, and what happens?
You’ll notice he stays HARD — — for multiple ruined orgasms at a time, if you do it right!
And if you don’t believe me, consider this — — I’ve SELF-administered ruined orgasms with nothing but a few gentle touches and a lady’s picture (no prizes for guessing who;)) — — and I “came” (pun intended!) four times within the space of one and a half hours before I called it a day.
The possibilities are limitless, and can be incorporated into vanilla play as well if you’re concerned about your man not being able to “stay hard” as it were.
Some say chastity is way more fulfilling in certain regards, and it may well be. But I’ve tried both (for extended periods and with multiple partners) and I can say this unequivocally — — there is NOTHING that delivers “frustration in the right, sexy package” as well as an orgasm well and truly RUINED.
Of course, like anything else it requires practice, and it requires a lot of practice at that. BDSM skills in general require a lot of “fine tuning” anyway; everyone is different, and we all have different “hot buttons” that get us off.
The trick is, as always, to get to know each other well enough before any mention of BDSM is made. You’ll find, as I’ve always written that it works far, far better if there is a genuine emotional and general bond between the Domina and the sub.
So get to know each other well first, as well as each other’s preferences. It’s no different from a vanilla relationship in that regard, my dear reader.
Above all, always make sure that BOTH parties are into it. Despite the common fallacy about “all women loving ruined orgasms for the male”, some don’t. Some ladies would rather actually have sex with their partners as opposed to ruin their orgasms (and this doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be open to being kinky in other regards).
I’m getting into “therapy” territory here, but communication is key. I’ve been in situations where I didn’t want orgasms at all, and she wanted multiple orgasms — — WITH me.
How I handled that particular situation is outside the scope of this article, but it just reemphasizes the importance of communication between both parties.
And thats what ruined orgasms ARE, in a nutshell. The other side to this are P spot orgasms, which are a subset of ruined orgasms (but can be made far more pleasurable and even more FRUSTRATING — yes — both at the same time), but that is for another article.
For now, in case you’re wondering HOW exactly to administer a ruined orgasm, well, worry not.
In Mike Watson’s pathbreaking “15 ways to give him the ruined orgasm of his life … and leave him GROVELING for more…!” he goes into great detail on what exactly ruined orgasms, the MINDSET behind the same, and the BEST way (15 of them, actually) to administer a ruined orgasm that he’ll never ever forget — and that will have him running after you, begging for more in no time at all!
Grab it right here — https://spicyanderoticfetish.com/books/ruined-orgasms/
Best,
Mike Watson
P.S. — Don’t forget to sign up for the FREE femdom tips right here — https://spicyanderoticfetish.com/newsletter/
Oh, and this post first appeared on the (long) now “blocked account” on Medium here i.e. here is the “canonical link” – not that it works, hehe – but Google loves it, so here goes – https://medium.com/@spicyanderoticfetish/what-exactly-is-a-ruined-orgasm-8d2e2f26aaeb
